“You just like being shagged, you bitch!”

Well, that’s a bit harsh, isn’t it? Well, not when you are part of the golden age of exploitation…

Time for some sleazy, seedy and – YES – utterly MESMERIZING grindhouse classics – stay with me as I take you on a journey into film history – as the classic sexploitation craze continues – thanks in part to a unique brand of italian “PULP FICTION”!

Giallo – Read All About This “Yellow Pulp Fiction!”

What you see above you is an original “italian giallo” book – a unique blend of pulp fiction that was turned into a hugely successful collection of european films in the 70′s. The “SIN-ema” of the early 70′s was a unique type of film making. Lots of sex, nudity, blood and violence – all done with a certain “european” flair…

These films flooded the sleazy “grindhouse” theaters in the US in the early 70′s – movie theaters that stayed open all night, and where there was just as much action IN the seats as on the screen…movie going was a “survival” type of experience….

You can criticize, but you are missing the point…this was a very specific time in movie history – cheap european “giallo” films were helping pave the way for a more “adult” type of movie experience…these bloody “nudefests” were a unique style of exploitation:

Yes, it’s “women in peril” again, but that was the way they made them in the 70′s…

There has been a huge market opening up for these classic “giallo” films. Here are the latest classic exploitation films of the 70′s – now released for your enjoyment! And of course, the first one is based in New York!

Massage Parlor Murders!

This is one of the legendary grindhouse classics, now available in a pristine new blu-ray…first, check out the trailer:

Here’s what the promotional teaser has to say: “A vicious serial killer is stalking the streets of New York City, murdering Times Square massage girls in a variety of brutal ways. It’s up to a rogue detective team to solve the case as the body count continues to rise!”

“Chock full of over the top sex and violence and complete with high speed car chase through Manhattan, “MASSAGE PARLOR MURDERS” is an exploitation film lover’s dream movie.”

And yes, it was also released later as “Massage Parlor Hookers”. Movies like these were usually re-named and re-released to maximize their grindhouse potential…and to sucker idiots into seeing the same movie twice!

Did you notice in the trailer that the lead actress looks A LOT like a young Roseanna Arquette? Well, it’s not her, but the similarity is striking….

As you can see, the film is full of gratuitous sex and violence, but the movie captures the grit and seedy nature of New York in the early 70′s – and it’s an effective little thriller that evokes the best of the grindhouse of the time….at least the ones that were made in the US.

Time To Head To Europe!

And in case “Massage Parlor Murders” isn’t SLEAZY ENOUGH, try this classic EURO-SLEAZE on for size!

“You just like being shagged, you bitch!”

THE SISTER OF URSULA

Thanks once again to Severin Films for uncovering this infamous slice of Euro-Sleaze that repeatedly “thrusts at the abyss of bad taste!”

Here is the plot: In the wake of their father’s death, two beautiful sisters – sensitive Ursula and promiscuous Dagmar – come to a seaside resort for a relaxing vacation.

But their idyllic getaway will soon become a depraved nightmare of kinky exhibitionists, dope-sick lotharios, lust-crazed lesbians and a psychotic killer who tears women to pieces with – no kidding – a phallus of massive proportion.

Now THIS is euro-sleaze! “Ursula” is an eye-popping combination of sexploitation and vicious giallo, fully restored from original vault elements and presented uncut and uncensored for the first time ever in America.

These european shockers were cheaply made, full of sex and violence, and then full of more sex – particularly lesbian scenes, which seems to be “so european” for the time…

The “european” nature of these films was a selling point – offering nudity and sexual situations much more mature than the US…and the foreign posters made it clear there was going to be A LOT of flesh on display!

European exploitation, sexploitation and artsploitation films are fascinating to me, and I’ve posted about them before…

And if you need a primer on Italian giallo, check this out!

http://johnrieber.com/2012/07/09/time-to-strip-nude-four-flies-and-baba-yaga-to-you-yes-its-classic-italian-giallo/

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To A Dog Show…

Meet one of the best ensemble casts in a comedy EVER! If you haven’t seen the film “Best In Show”, you are missing a hilarious look at the world of competitive dog shows!

“Best In Show” was directed by Christopher Guest, who also made the great ensemble comedy “Waiting For Guffman.” First, check out the trailer:

“Best In Show”!

The owners (and handlers) of five show dogs head for the legendary Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show. A film crew interviews them as they prepare for the trip, arrive at Philly’s Taft Hotel, and compete.

From Florida come the Flecks: Catherine O’Hara keeps running into old lovers, while her husband Eugene Levy has, literally, “two left feet.”

Parker Posey is a high strung dog owner, while Director Guest stars as a country hunter who has a great Bloodhound to display.

Catherine O’Hara steals the movie as a woman who can’t go anywhere without running into a former lover…

And then there is her husband, Eugene Levy…

Gerry Fleck: I can’t dance, I can’t dance, I’ve got two left feet!

Cookie Fleck: I thought he was kidding.

Gerry Fleck: But I wasn’t. I was born with two left feet.

Jane Lynch stars a a professional dog trainer who gets very close with the dog’s owner, Jennifer Coolidge…

Also Stealing The Movie Is…

Fred Willard! That’s right, he’s always been a terrifically funny Actor, but in “Best In Show”, the Actor steals the movie with a series of one-liners that are hilarious!

Buck Laughlin: Tell me, do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and a tongue depressor?

Nurse: Uh, no.

Buck Laughlin: Remind me never to come to you for a physical!

Fred Willard’s character Buck Laughlin was based on baseball legend Joe Garagiola, who had co-hosted the Westminster Kennel Club dog show in years past, to similar effect. Willard tosses out hilarious one-liners that have NOTHING to do with the dog show!

Buck Laughlin: Excuse me if this off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, at the top of my game, maxing out at 500!

Premiere voted this movie as one of “The 50 Greatest Comedies Of All Time” in 2006.

This is a hilarious look at the people who compete in dog shows, and a great ensemble comedy!

“Hello, Cleveland!”

One of the most iconic lines in movie comedy history – as the Band Spinal Tap gets lost in the bowels of Cleveland’s arena and can’t find the stage…

And of course, there’s also this:

Nigel Tufnel: “You can’t really dust for vomit.”

“This Is Spinal Tap!”

Arguably one of the funniest movies ever made, this is the first and funniest “mockumentary” ever made, directed by Rob Reiner. And there may be a Todd Rundgren connection!

In 1982 legendary British heavy metal band Spinal Tap attempt an American comeback tour accompanied by a fan who is also a film-maker. The resulting documentary, interspersed with powerful performances of Tap’s pivotal music and profound lyrics, candidly follows a rock group heading towards crisis, culminating in the infamous affair of the eighteen-inch-high Stonehenge stage prop…here is the trailer for this comedic masterpiece:

“But These Go To Eleven!”

Most of the dialogue was improvised – kudos to the entire “Tap” team of Harry Shearer, Michael McKean and Christopher Guest – but this is now one of the most quoted film lines in modern movie history…

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and…

Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?

Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.

Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it’s louder? Is it any louder?

Nigel Tufnel: Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it? It’s not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You’re on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you’re on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?

Marty DiBergi: I don’t know.

Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?

Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.

Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.

Marty DiBergi: Why don’t you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?

Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

Harry Shearer, Rob Reiner, Christopher Guest, and Michael McKean were given $10,000 to write a script. A 20-minute version of the film was made with the money to better demonstrate the improvisation they had in mind. Several scenes from this demo are in the final movie.

And Now, The Todd Connection – The Eggs That Won’t Open!

I was reading the biography of Todd, and I came across a chapter about the first Utopia tours, and guess what? There IS a Spinal Tap connection!

As you know, there is the hilarious scene from “Spinal Tap” when one band member gets trapped in a malfunctioning egg onstage…well, according to the book, that may have come from a Utopia concert!

Utopia’s First Tours! Todd’s Disasterous “Geodesic Dome!”

On page 230 of the Todd bio book “A Dream Goes On Forever Vol. 1″, Todd says one of the early Utopia tours “had this special geodesic dome for the syntheziser player (Jean Yves Labat) to sit in”. Well, it kept breaking down!

The story, as recounted in the book, clearly suggests that “Spinal Tap’s” malfunctioning egg was a direct parody of Todd’s “Geodesic dome!” Paul Fishkin says “I was at the Philly gig…at least one inspiration for ‘Spinal Tap’ was Jean Yves in the bubble, not being able to get out. it was so bad – indescribably bad!”

So Todd’s early synth musician Jean Yves Labat got trapped in the dome and couldn’t get out – just like Harry Shearer being trapped in Spinal Tap’s egg…

So the next time I watch Spinal Tap, I will put on the Theme From Utopia as well and savor the connection…if you want to read more about Todd, make sure to get the biographies…click here to read all about it:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/06/04/todd-rundgrens-new-musical-state-his-new-tiki-iniki-bar-todds-incredible-bio-books/

The Spinal Tap “Stonehenge” Debacle!

Of course, Spinal Tap has many more problems than just malfunctioning eggs…they had a two foot tall Stonehenge!

This debacle was caused when the lead guitarist put “20 inches” instead of “20 ft.” on the design…when the tour manager tries to tell the band to play better, the lead singer gets angry:

David St. Hubbins: I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a *dwarf*. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.

Ian Faith: I really think you’re just making much too big a thing out of it.

Derek Smalls: Making a big thing out of it would have been a good idea.

The Non-Black Sabbath Connection!

There’s a common misconception that the “too small Stonehenge” disaster is a parody of Black Sabbath’s over-sized Stonehenge sets from the Born Again tour. This is impossible, the Stonehenge Spinal Tap scene existed as early as 1982 when the film existed as a 20-minute short. Black Sabbath didn’t begin using their Stonehenge sets until 1983.

And Finally, The Album Reviews!

Another great moment is when Director Marty DiBergi reads the band their latest album review: “This tasteless cover is a good indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry.”

Nigel Tufnel: “That’s just nitpicking, isn’t it?”

Nitpicking indeed! “This Is Spinal Tap” is a classic movie comedy, and was ranked #1 on Entertainment Weekly’s “Top 50 Cult Films of All-Time”!

“Hello Cleveland!”

Bear with me for a moment: remember when Lindsay Lohan was a “Mean Girl”?

OK, it’s a strange way to begin the day, but I ask for a reason. First, that was then, look at her now!

You see, on the heels of her “comeback” in “Liz & Dick”, there is a whole new Lindsay to enjoy – this time in a controversial new film with an acclaimed Director!

From Mean Girl To The Canyons!

You know how this story begins: Lindsay Lohan started as a child fashion model when she was three, and with the release of Mean Girls (2004), a critical and commercial success, Lohan became a household name and a frequent focus of paparazzi and tabloids.

In 2007, two driving under the influence incidents led to Lohan being put on probation, and suddenly her personal life was much more interesting than her professional one – and stories about her on-set antics became tabloid fodder…

She spent much of 2010 and 2011 entangled in legal problems stemming from probation violations and a necklace theft. After her supervised probation was lifted in 2012, she did further television work, including starring as Elizabeth Taylor in the biographical TV film “Liz & Dick”. Yes, it was HORRIBLE – but it got a rating!

And finally, it’s time for the release of her latest film “The Canyons.” Here is the trailer:

“The Canyons” is an erotic thriller directed by Paul Schrader, who wrote the classic screenplay for “Taxi Driver”. The script was written by Bret Easton Ellis, the notorious Author of “Less Than Zero” and “American Psycho.”

“The Canyons” is set in Los Angeles, and stars Lindsay Lohan, along with adult film star James Deen. Yes, ADULT FILM STAR JAMES DEEN.

That pairing has caused a lot of controversy, and a scathing NY Times article about problems on the set has made this film a “must see.” Click to read the whole story:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/magazine/here-is-what-happens-when-you-cast-lindsay-lohan-in-your-movie.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Just the fact that an adult film star is playing opposite Lohan will certainly keep the controversy going…especially as more interviews come out about their on-set chemistry…

Here is the plot of “The Canyons”: While calculating young movie producer Christian (James Deen) makes films to keep his trust fund intact, his actress girlfriend, Tara (Lindsay Lohan), hides an affair with an actor from her past. But Christian becomes aware – which thrusts the young couple into a violent, sexually-charged tour through the dark side of human nature.

The film will be released on August 9 in theatres, as well as on all VOD (video on demand) platforms August 2. And almost forgotten in all of this is the fact that the Director of “The Canyons” is Paul Schrader, who wrote “Taxi Driver” and directed a multitude of great films like “Cat People” and “American Gigolo” with Richard Gere…

I am a big fan of Schrader’s work – here he is promoting his terrific movie “Auto Focus” with Greg Kinnear…you can read about that neglected classic right HERE:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/03/30/sex-crazed-stars-tabloid-wars-and-tough-guys-too-little-seen-movie-gems/

And I can’t wait to see “The Canyons” – if only to see how Lohan’s comeback is progressing!

And now Lohan announced she will be paid $2 million to sit down with Oprah Winfrey to discuss her life – and be part of a docu-series….will be interesting to see how honest it is…

Ever imagine living in Siberia? Sure, this looks like a nice day on the river…

But that’s just a small part of what Siberia is. Ever wonder what it’s like to trap sable in -50 degree weather? Oh, and you have to travel to each trap through one of the most heavily forested places in the world…

Imagine having so many questions about life in one of the most extreme parts of the world. Well, thanks to visionary Director Werner Herzog, you now have the answers!

Welcome To The Siberian Wilderness!

You have to check out “Happy People: A Year In The Taiga”! First, take a look at the trailer:

Meet These “Happy People!”

“Happy People: A Year In The Taiga” is a terrific documentary that spends a year in the life of the indigenous people living in Bakhtia, the heart of the Siberian Taiga; a small knit community of 300+ villagers whose daily lives haven’t changed over the last century – it’s a fascinating look at their lives, and their cultural traditions.

And yes, that is a frozen fish that sits most of the year outside – since the entire outdoors is a freezer! This was originally a TV documentary series for Russian TV. Acclaimed Director Werner Herzog came upon it and turned it into a feature-length documentary which is now out on DVD!

When you say “year in the life”, it really means 3 months of summer and 9 months of hellish, wintry conditions – in sub-zero temperatures – that are more extreme than most people could handle…

Cue The Dogs!

There are amazing parts to the lives that these people lead, including a fascinating look at the dogs who literally keep these trappers alive during the winter…their only companions for months on end…

You get to meet these solitary trappers, who spend months in the wilderness hunting sable, living alone in snowed-in log cabins in the middle of the wilderness…

Director Herzog oversaw the cut down of the material, and he does all of the voice over work as well…and the DVD includes an introduction to the film he did in front of an audience, in which he explains how he got involved in the project….

Also included on the DVD is an excerpt from the original TV series – called “Chasing Spring In West Siberia”…if you like documentaries that uncover a completely unique way of life, this is the one for you!

Werner’s Penguins!

Werner Herzog has a number of terrific documentaries, each one narrated by the Director…including one that takes a fascinating look at the people who live at the end of the earth!

Life Among Penguins!

If you want to check out more Werner Herzog, click HERE to read about his great Antarctica documentary, “Encounters At The End Of The World”!

http://johnrieber.com/2012/08/05/icebergs-penguins-pillars-of-hercules-tuscan-sunburns-extreme-adventures-await/

A New Samurai Princess Is Born!

In honor of Comic-Con – and the myriad of crazy cosplay costumes, here is the real deal!

Time to head to Japan to kick some serious samurai butt – with a real female Ninja Warrior – who has terrific sword skills, right? look Ma, no hands!!

Talk About Your “Ninja Warrior”!

If you have ready ANY of my “j-sploitation” articles, you know that I love this new genre of film – and I will provide links at the end of the story – because this is really a “you must see it to believe it” kind of movie making!

First, check out the trailer!

“Samurai Princess” (サムライプリンセス 外道姫) is a Japanese film directed by Kengo Kaji, and is described as a “ero guro” action film. More on that in a second….

The film has a well-known list of “J-Sploitation” favorites involved: Special effects were produced by Yoshihiro Nishimura, who previously directed and created effects and makeup for “Tokyo Gore Police”, which “Samurai Princess” Director Kengo Kaji wrote.

Here’s the plot: A group of young schoolgirls walking through the woods is attacked by a gang of thugs. Only one of the girls survives, but is badly injured. As is usually the case in japanese exploitation, this leads to rehabilitation – then REVENGE!

Mad Science To The Rescue!

Of course, our lone survivor is found by a scientist who takes her back to his lab, and gives her a new robotic body – this is also a trend in “j-sploitation – the combination of revenge and technology! To top it off, a female monk also gives her magical powers!

The Scientist and Monk send her out to take revenge on her attackers, but as it turns out The Scientist has an ulterior motive for his actions…cue the monster!

“Ero Guro” To You!

Now, time to explain what the Director meant by calling the film a “Ero Guro”.

“Ero guro nansensu” was a literary and artistic movement originating circa 1930 in Japan.

“Ero guro” puts its focus on eroticism, sexual corruption and decadence.

While ero guro is a specific movement, many of its components can be found throughout Japanese history and culture. So apparently, the Director wants those elements to come across in his film!

“J-Sploitation” Rules!

“Samurai Princess” is just the latest example of a crazy new film trend in Japan!

If you are unfamiliar with the category, “J-Sploitation” is Japan’s version of the exploitation film – low budget, full of outrageous action and vivid special effects, and filled with lots and lots of blood.

I’ve written a number of stories about films in this genre – if you’ve missed them, jump into the pool by clicking HERE:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/02/14/japanese-super-females-kick-ass-exploitation/

These films have been around for decades – and they are full of sex and violence – but remember, movies have been since the beginning of time! And this modern japanese take on violence and revenge is a unique style that really should be seen to be believed!

There are many great examples of this type of film: among the most notable are “Tokyo Gore Police” and “The Machine Girl”…action and exploitation in equal measure…with the added take of modern technology driving the revenge – and yes, there is lots and lots of revenge!

Check out more of these classics by clicking HERE:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/10/15/tokyo-gore-for-halloween-behold-j-sploitation-nishimura-rules-extreme-japanese-cinema/

Enjoy!

The legal system – “the scales of justice”….they have been shown non-stop on TV recently, and I just finished jury duty as well, and it made me think about legal thrillers…

I found myself on a jury at the LA Criminal Courthouse in downtown Los Angeles – and even though I was asked over and over why I didn’t try to get out of it – I actually found jury duty fascinating – and I’m glad I did it.

No, Glenn Close wasn’t my lawyer, but I was Jury Foreperson on a trial involving attempted murder – and I will tell you now -

I DON’T KNOW HOW TWELVE PEOPLE CAN AGREE ON ANYTHING!

I truly appreciate what Prosecutors must face every time they go to trial and present evidence – it’s seemingly impossible to get a dozen people to agree on anything! In my trial, I had four people who felt the defendant was guilty – and four who felt he was innocent.

CUE THE HUNG JURY!

After a full day of deliberation, I had taken six different votes, and it was clear that those eight jurors were NEVER going to change their minds – no matter what was discussed. The last four were willing to discuss the facts and evidence further, but for those who had made up their minds, THEY WERE MADE UP. We ultimately returned as a hung jury and the case was declared a mistrial.

I know that certain high profile court cases have polarized people, and it will be interesting to see what these cases do to cause us to look at the system and why it doesn’t work better…

But Enough Reality!

With the legal system very much top of mind, it’s time to look at two great movies that tackle the legal system – and the role of lawyers in it – through the eyes of two very popular Attorneys!

“You’re nobody ’till somebody shoots you.”

The Lincoln Lawyer

Matthew McConaughey gets behind the wheel and takes the law out onto the street in this tight, action-packed legal thriller.

Matthew McConaughey is joined by Ryan Phillipe, Marisa Tomei and William H. Macy – check out the trailer:

Check out the trailer:

McConaughey is a defense lawyer who works out of his Lincoln. When a wealthy Realtor is accused of raping a prostitute, “The Lincoln Lawyer” is asked to defend him. The Realtor is played by Ryan Phillippe…

“You’re nobody ’till somebody shoots you.”

As with all good legal thrillers, the plot of “The Lincoln Lawyer” takes many twists and turns, including a few that take place in the “Lincoln” of the movie’s title…it’s a great hook for the film: a car that functions as McConaughey’s portable, traveling office…

William H. Macy co-stars as one of the private detectives McConaughey uses to dig up dirt…as always, he brings consummate acting ability to the role – and check out the hair!

A Classic Legal Thriller!

While this film didn’t receive a lot of attention when it was released in theaters, it actually did well at the box office. It’s a tight, effective legal thriller, and Matthew McConaughey shows off more of the cool confidence in this film that he has shown in such recent roles as “Magic Mike” and “Killer Joe”…

There is plenty of action in “The Lincoln Lawyer” as well…in fact, there are a number of good legal thrillers…the list includes such serious films as:

“The Verdict” – with Paul Newman giving perhaps his greatest movie performance ever…directed by Sidney Lumet, who also directed “Network” and “Dog Day Afternoon”!

Or you can try a “pulpier” take on the law with”The Rainmaker” with Matt Damon – a fun legal thriller as well…which leads to what is, in my opinion, the “Citizen Kane” of action lawyer movies…

“You want to know something funny? You actually made me think about the law. I managed to go through three years of law school without doing that.”

The Firm

Yes, “The Firm” is a great legal thriller! It’s one of the most purely entertaining movies about the law – and the dangers of choosing the wrong law “firm” to work for – that’s ever been made – and it has a great cast including Tom Cruise, Gene Hackman and Holly Hunter – here is the trailer for “The Firm”:

Tom Cruise plays law school graduate Mitch McDeere – a young man with a promising future in Law. He is approached by ‘The Firm’ and made an offer he doesn’t refuse. Seduced by the money and gifts showered on him, he is totally oblivious to the more sinister side of his company. One of the partners, played by Gene Hackman, takes the young lawyer under his wing…

As more strange things begin happening at “The Firm”, the young lawyer has to come up with his own “exit strategy” from the firm…

Mitch McDeere: Are you saying my life is in danger?
Denton Voyles: I am saying that your life as you know it is over.

Holly Hunter’s Oscar-Nominated Scene-Stealing!

Oscar-winning actress Holly Hunter shows up in a small role – but steals the movie as the fast-talking secretary who works with Mitch to execute his plan…look at this short snippet of dialogue when she meets Mitch’s brother – and has an update:

Tammy: Mitch sent me to tell you the plan’s been changed.
Ray McDeere: I didn’t know there was a plan.
Tammy: Well, that’s good, because it’s been changed.

Great “Firm” Facts!

Holly Hunter’ was oscar-nominated for Best Supporting Actress for her role here – but she is only on screen for a total of 5 minutes, 59 seconds in the entire movie; it’s one of shortest performances ever nominated for an Oscar! She is in 20 scenes, for an average of 18 seconds per scene!

Holly Hunter proves that it doesn’t take much to make an impact! And she is just one of the many pleasure of this great movie! I need to watch “The Firm” again soon!

“Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of milk… Do some fuckin’ thing.”

RIP Dennis Farina!

That classic movie line was uttered to perfection by iconic character Actor Dennis Farina, a real-life Chicago police officer who went on to star in a slew of classic films and TV shows – and who has tragically died at age 69.

According to his publicist, Farina died Monday morning in a Scottsdale, Ariz., hospital after suffering a blood clot in his lung. For movie and TV fans, this is a huge loss – Farina has a long list of classic performances…and I want to celebrate him by focusing on what I think are his three best!

Farina played leading roles in many films and TV shows, but his smaller roles were, I think, even more memorable – his character were loud, profane, angry and hilarious – usually at the same time…beginning with his small role in Guy Ritchie’s classic british crime thriller, “Snatch!”

Snatch! – 2000 – Directed by Guy Ritchie

Meet Turkish and his close friend/accomplice Tommy – and yes, Turkish is Jason Statham:

[first lines in the film]
Turkish: [narrating] My name is Turkish. Funny name for an Englishman, I know. My parents to be were on the same plane when it crashed. That’s how they met. They named me after the name of the plane. Not many people are named after a plane crash. That’s Tommy. He tells people he was named after a gun, but I know he was really named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.

These two small-time crooks get pulled into the world of match fixing by the notorious Brick Top. These are the bad guys, and they are BAD:

In Snatch, a huge diamond heist takes place, and a fistful of motley characters enter the story, including ‘Cousin Avi’, ‘Boris The Blade’, ‘Franky Four Fingers’ and ‘Bullet Tooth Tony’.

Mary Fucking Poppins!

The word “fuck” is said 163 times in this film, many times by Dennis Farina, who plays Cousin Avi, who is interested in a very special diamond…

Avi: Eighty-six carats.
Rosebud: Where?
Avi: London.
Rosebud: London?
Avi: London.
Avi’s Colleague: London?
Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup ‘o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins… LONDON.

This movie is profane, bloody, hilarious, and violent – everything you want in a great movie….or as Dennis Farina says…

Customs official: Anything to declare?
Avi: Yeah. Don’t go to England.

Dennis Farina seemed to relish playing the bad guy, particularly a nasty mobster from Miami who ends up chasing after John Travolta in Hollywood in the classic “Get Shorty”…

Get Shorty. 1995.

Sadly, this was also one of James Gandolfini’s great supporting performances…he plays a wannabe movie stunt man who works as “muscle” for a small time hustler…

Look at this cast: John Travolta, Gene Hackman, Rene Russo, James Gandolfini, Dennis Farina and Danny DeVito – tackling Elmore Leonard’s novel that sees mobster Chili Palmer head to Hollywood to collect a mob debt.

Dennis Farina played Ray “Bones” Barboni, who just wants money that is owed to him, and isn’t too impressed by Hollywood:

Limo Driver With Sign: Mr. Barbone? Welcome to L.A., I’m Bobby, your driver. I hope you had a pleasant flight.

Ray “Bones” Barboni: Yeah well, I hope you drive better than you fucking spell, jack-off. My name is Barboni, not Barbone, okay!

And this is his interaction with Chili Palmer, played by John Travolta:

Chili Palmer: How did you get in here?

Ray Bones: It was easy. I told ‘em I was you, I acted real stupid and they believed me.

And “Bones” lays it all out for Chili moments later – in hilariously profane fashion:

Ray “Bones” Barboni: Let me explain something to you. Momo is dead. Which means that everything he had now belongs to Jimmy Cap, including you. Which also means, that when I speak, I speak for Jimmy. E.g., from now on, you start showing me the proper fucking respect.

Chili Palmer: “E.g.” means “for example”. What I think you want to say is “I.e.”.

Ray “Bones” Barboni: Bullshit! That’s short for “ergo”.

Chili Palmer: Ask your man.

Bodyguard: To the best of my knowledge, “e.g.” means “for example”.

Ray “Bones” Barboni: E.g., i.e., fuck you! The point is this: is that, When I say “jump”, you say “OK”, okay?

And, in what I think is his best work ever, Farina played mobster Jimmy Serrano, who is after Charles Grodin in the classic action comedy, “Midnight Run.”

Midnight Run – Directed by Martin Brest – released in 1988.

“Why Are You So Unpopular With The Chicago Police Department?”

People cheered on the internet recently when it was announced that, almost 25 years after the initial release, “Midnight Run” would have a sequel. Even though it was only a modest success, the cult has grown for this funny, touching, and action-packed buddy film.

Robert DeNiro shows his comedy chops as Bounty hunter Jack Walsh, who is sent to find and return bail jumper and former Mafia accountant, Jonathan “The Duke” Mardukas. Charles Grodin is deadpan hilarious as “The Duke.”

Yaphet Kotto plays frustrated FBI Chief Alonzo Mosely, who is also looking for Grodin.

Alonzo Mosely: “Let me tell you something, asshole. I’ve been working on this Jimmy Serrano thing for about six years; Mardukas is my shot. I’m gonna bring him into federal court, and I don’t want any third-rate rent-a-thug who couldn’t cut it as a cop in Chicago bringing him to LA on some bullshit local charge. Do I make myself understood?”
Jack Walsh: “Can I ask you something? These sunglasses, they’re really nice: are they government-issued, or all you guys go to the same store to get them?”

Getting Grodin back to LA, of course, isn’t easy, and helps form a “bickering friendship”…

Jonathan Mardukas: “Why are you so unpopular with the Chicago police department?”

Dennis Farina plays foul-mouthed Mobster Jimmy Serrano, who wants “The Duke” dead, and can’t stand it when his two incompetent hit men keep screwing up the job:

Jimmy Serrano: “You and that other dummy better start getting more personally involved in your work, or I’m gonna stab you through the heart with a fuckin’ pencil. Do you understand me?”
Tony Darvo: “You got it, Jimmy.”
(He hangs up the phone)
Joey: “Hey, Tony… he ain’t mad at me, is he?”

“Midnight Run” is a cult classic because it gets better with every viewing…with a ton of memorable quotes, like: “I’m just saying…if I WERE your Accountant”…and the classic interchange when Grodin drives DeNiro crazy by not letting up on his personal life:

Jonathan Mardukas: Did she hurt you, Jack?
Jack Walsh: Yeah, she did.
Jonathan Mardukas: I’m sorry.
Jack Walsh: What’re you sorry about?
Jonathan Mardukas: I’m sorry you’re hurt.
Jack Walsh: I’m not hurt.
Jonathan Mardukas: You just said you were hurt.
Jack Walsh: I’m not hurt.
Jonathan Mardukas: I just asked you if you were hurt and you said “Yeah, I’m hurt.”
Jack Walsh: That’s because you made me say that.
Jonathan Mardukas: Jack, you’re a grown man. You’re in control of your own words.
Jack Walsh: You’re goddamn right I am. Now here come two words for you: Shut the fuck up.

And here, thanks to youtube, is a collection of Jimmy Serrano’s best lines from “Midnight Run”!

RIP Dennis Farina, and thanks for leaving us such a great body of work!

Grab A Beer! Time For A Great New Film!

Or, as you can see, Olivia Wilde just sticks her finger in Jake Johnson’s brew. But no reason to worry, this movie has plenty more beer to share!

Here’s a great independent film that delivers everything you want in a movie – a terrific cast, a great story, real human insight…and BEER!

Here is the trailer for “Drinking Buddies!”

Here’s the plot of “Drinking Buddies”, as written up by IMDB: “Luke and Kate are co-workers at a Chicago brewery, where they spend their days drinking and flirting. They’re perfect for each other, except that they’re both in relationships.

But you know what makes the line between “friends” and “more than friends” really blurry? Beer.”

Look At This Amazing Cast!

Olivia Wilde, Anna Kendrick, Ron Livingston and Jake Johnston star in “Drinking Buddies”, and all of them are terrific! This film is a character-driving piece, and the ensemble does a great job. Oh, there is one more cast member as well….

Yes, Gene Dentler!

That’s right, the character Gene Dentler is credited in the film as being played by ….himself!

That’s the credit for Jason Sudeikis, who is, in real life, Olivia Wilde’s fiance. Sudeikis has a small supporting role, but he tosses off a number of hilarious lines. Also in the film is acclaimed horror film director Ti West in a small role as well…

“Drinking Buddies” is directed by acclaimed independent Director Joe Swanberg, who also makes a small cameo in the film. If you don’t know his work, go to his website to read all about the films he has made…

http://www.joeswanberg.com/

“Drinking Buddies” fits right in with Swanberg’s previous films: intimate human drama, with the cast given the room to explore their characters – no fast cutting and fake motivation, and as a result, the acting really shines!

Here is some “Drinking Buddies” trivia according to IMDB.com:

The film was entirely improvised. There was no script, and the only things the actors and the crew had was a vague outline of the order of events that the director wanted to happen.

Anna Kendrick is actually drunk in the drinking game scene that takes place in the cabin. Because the movie was improvised, this gave the actors more control over the scenes. This particular scene was the last thing that needed to be filmed that day, so Kendrick and Jake Johnson decided to use real alcohol instead of the prop alcohol provided. Because the movie is entirely improvised, this gave the actors more control of the scenes, Johnson’s character is in charge of the game, so Johnson decided to make Kendrick drink more.

Olivia Wilde and Jake Johnson!

The entire cast is terrific, but a special mention has to go to both Olivia Wilde and Jake Johnson, who are outstanding…if this independent film gets the attention it deserves, both are award-worthy.

Find out more about this great independent film by checking out the website HERE:

https://www.magpictures.com/drinkingbuddies/

“Drinking Buddies” is in theaters on August 23rd, but it’s also on demand now!

“Wake up Ms. Creed, it’s breakfast time!”

I love uncovering films that might not get a lot of attention here in the US – but are worth checking out – especially now that one of the stars is breaking out on US TV!

Bound And Buried!

These two british thrillers were both released within the last couple of years, and neither one found a home in the US. Thanks to Eddie Marsan’s breakout performance on “Ray Donovan” however, one of these films may be discovered!

Time to share these two modern day British thrillers – that share a common theme:

In each movie, someone has been kidnapped – and in both movies, from that basic beginning, the plot twists and turns make both movies a great thrill ride!

Let’s start with a twisted thriller starring Gemma Arterton in a brave performance:

The Disappearance Of Alice Creed

Director / Writer J Blakeson does a terrific job with this three-person piece – here’s the plot:

A rich man’s daughter is held captive in an abandoned apartment by two former convicts who abducted her and hold her ransom in exchange for her father’s money.

Here is the trailer:

Martin Compston, “Ray Donovan” co-star Eddie Marsan and Gemma Arterton star in this tight, twisted thriller – and all of them are onscreen for virtually the entire running time.

Fans of the new show “Ray Donovan” will recognize Eddie Marsan, as he plays Donovan’s brother on the hit TV series. In “Alice Creed”, he plays the more seasoned kidnapper – with plenty of secrets…

A “Silent” Thriller!

“The Disappearance Of Ray Donovan” is a great little thriller – and all three Actors do stellar work! Interesting fact: the first word is spoken 5 minutes and 25 seconds into the film. Roughly another 4 minutes pass before the next one is spoken. Imagine how much pressure that puts on the Actors to convey character without speaking – but they do!

As you can see, the film really tuckered the two male leads out. But it is precisely this “silent” approach that gives the film so much energy – and keeps you on the edge of your seat…as for Gemma Arterton, this is a powerful and intense performance.

Gemma Arterton was given a safe word for her to say if she felt uncomfortable in her nude scenes and wanted filming to stop. There are many uncomfortable scenes for the Actress, but they are vital for the twists and turns that the plot takes…to say more would ruin a film full of surprises.

And speaking of a film full of surprises, here is another British thriller little seen in the US:

A Lonely Place To Die

A group of five mountaineers are hiking and climbing in the Scottish Highlands when they discover a young Serbian girl buried in a small chamber in the wilderness. They become caught up in a terrifying game of cat and mouse with the kidnappers as they try to get the girl to safety…

Director Julian Gilbey and brother Will who co-wrote the script – and they became avid and experienced climbers – which makes sense when you see all of the incredible climbing footage in the movie!

The movie begins as a straightforward thriller: a group of hikers stumble into a VERY BAD situation, and they must try to get out of it….

After discovering a young girl – who has been buried alive in a hole in the forest – the group must figure out how to protect her from THIS GUY:

As with most great thrillers, the honesty of the situation keeps you rooted in the story, especially when it takes a few twists as well…

While scouting locations for the film, the Gilbey brothers used head cameras while climbing and exploring various locations. These videos appear in the end credits of the film to look like “home movies” of the films climbing group.

Check out these great British thrillers – both on DVD or your streaming method or premium cable service of choice!

First of all, I want to thank everyone who reads my posts on a regular basis – or anyone who has even read it once…for that, I offer you THIS:

Well, perhaps not, but I do appreciate the interest in the stories: whether they are about food, travel, movies, music, or even stuff like THIS:

Yes, if you saw my story, you know that Chinese Burger King customers have started to “super size” their meals at the salad bar…and if you’ve ever read a blog post of mine, then I can guarantee you’ve seen one of these:

Of course I LOVE burgers – and bacon too! I especially love bacon when someone has done something REALLY WRONG to it – like creating a bacon sandwich with ten pounds of bacon – like this one!

A Bacon Mona Lisa!

And I love when people use bacon for “non-food” things like making a portrait of the Mona Lisa – all out of bacon!

Because I’ve posted so many food stories, I’ve set up a website of all of my food posts, like the one that focused on the “bread-cheese-bacon-bread-cheese-bacon-bread” cheeseburger!

If you want to see ALL of my food posts in one place, please check out my new site!

http://biteeatswallow.com/

And, if you like to travel as much as I do, then maybe you want to go on a trip with me!

I have also put all of my travel stories on one site as well…stories about Japan, Seoul, Australia – and of course Cannes, where I love to go to relax:

Sign up if you want to see all of my travel stories by going HERE!

http://spinningorbit.com/

And, if your musical tastes “go to eleven”, then I’ve got a blog for you too!

I love posting stories about my favorite music – sometimes The Beatles, always Todd Rundgren, and even “Spinal Tap”!

Check all of those stories HERE!

http://musicplatter.com/

And finally, there is a special place in my heart for a certain type of movie:

That’s right – classic exploitation is a lost art form that needs to be embraced and celebrated – and it’s not all old stuff, either – let’s not forget “J-sploitation!”
!

Check out the crazy world of exploitation by subscribing to my site HERE!

http://jrsploitation.com/

Of course, if you are reading this, you’ve come across my main site, where I cover such breaking news as these “sushi poppers!”

Or, you can find out about the world’s skinniest buildings!

Or, you can read about Jo Nesbo, the best fiction writer in the world right now!

“Making You An Offer You Can’t Refuse…”

Finally, I will continue to share my favorite films, along with many inside stories like this picture from the filming of “The Godfather” – Robert Duvall wearing Marlon Brando’s lines!

I mean – I LOVE THIS PICTURE!

No matter what you come for, I hope you enjoy the posts – and please sign up for the specific sites as well to see those specific subjects that interest you…please let me know what you think, and thanks for your support!

“The Day The Clown Cried!”

Fans of the most misguided films ever made are in a frenzy today with the discovery of rare “lost” footage from the Jerry Lewis unreleased film “The Day The Clown Cried!”

The Day the Clown Cried. That’s right, the internet is going wild over the legendary, never-released footage from master Comedian Jerry Lewis!

Here is the story of this legendary, never seen film: Jerry Lewis starred and directed this 1972 lost film, which is all about a circus clown who is imprisoned in a Nazi camp. He entertains the children who are there, and in the rumored finale, finally leads them in full clown makeup into the gas chambers.

“Lost Clown Footage!”

This story just broke, and I will credit the website that I saw break the story in a second. Here is a clip now available on youtube – we will see how long it stays available:

Jerry Lewis was one of America’s most revered comedians – with such legendary performances as “The Nutty Professor” and of course, his work with Dean Martin. But it seems he wanted to be taken more seriously as an Artist…

But Wait…Doesn’t “Clown” Sound Familiar?

By now you are thinking: isn’t this legendary “lost” film somewhat similar to “Life Is Beautiful”, Italian rubber-faced funnyman Roberto Benigni’s critically-acclaimed 1997 film?

As reviews said at the time: “Benigni accomplishes the impossible in his World War II comedy Life Is Beautiful: he shapes a simultaneously hilarious and haunting comedy out of the tragedy of the Holocaust.” And he won Best Actor for it! So why not Jerry?

This is known as one of the worst ideas for a movie of all time – so why has the similar “Life Is Beautiful” been so acclaimed? It’s an interesting question to ponder as you imagine “what if ‘the day the clown cried’ was ever finished?”

I wrote a lengthy story about the most misguided films of all time – and this was on the list – because it is difficult to imagine how legendary comedian Jerry Lewis could make a film about leading children into the gas chambers during the holocaust…but as I said, “Life Is Beautiful” has a similar “idea” driving it…

There have been a few stories written by people who CLAIM to have seen it, or who say that Lewis is still bitter that nobody took him seriously about the film or his intent…

Congrats To Daily Grindhouse!

This terrific website is devoted to exploitation films and a celebration of the “grindhouse” era of film – I’ve also written a ton of stories about this genre – go to my home page and put that word in and start the celebration!

The Daily Grindhouse has a great writeup all about this amazing footage – where it came from and what it means….click the link to read the whole story!

http://dailygrindhouse.com/thewire/footage-lost-jerry-lewis-holocaust-film-day-clown-cried-discovered/

The Ten Most Misguided Films Of All Time!

And if you want to see my entire list, click the link below and be ready to be stunned!

http://johnrieber.com/2012/02/08/ten-most-misguided-movies-of-all-time/

Here is the new look of horror!

All Hail Ben Wheatley!

If you don’t know Director Ben Wheatley, you need to in a hurry! His fourth film just won a special jury prize, and it’s a new way to make an unsettling horror film!

First, a bit about the Director:

British Director Ben Wheatley got his start doing commercials and music videos, then made several acclaimed viral videos for the web. That led to him getting the opportunity to direct features. He is a bold new talent emerging from the UK, with a distinctive style, and a twisted sense of humor!

Let’s look at his first three films quickly – all are largely overlooked here in the US, but were critical hits in England: In May 2009 he directed the feature film “Down Terrace” in eight days; it won the Next Wave prize at Fantastic Fest in Austin and Best UK Feature at Raindance in London.

Here’s the trailer:

The plot is very straightforward: A crime family looks to unmask the police informant in their midst who threatens to take down their business. It’s to Wheatley’s credit that he created a critically-acclaimed film with no time or money…

Next up is a very dark and twisted tale of revenge, murder and madness!

Kill List

“I fucking hate dirty soap.”

Nearly a year after a botched job, a hit man takes a new assignment with the promise of a big payoff for three killings. What starts off as an easy task soon unravels, sending the killer into the heart of darkness.

Here’s the trailer!

This film was released “unrated” for a reason – it’s a violent, dark and twisted thriller that doesn’t pull a punch! And speaking of not pulling punches:

Sightseers

“Police are pursuing a ginger-faced man and an angry woman…”

Boy, are they ever! Check out the trailer!

Two lovers travel the countryside, killing anyone who gets in their way…as you can see by the trailer, it’s a British “Badlands meets Natural Born Killers!”

All of this leads to his latest film – released in July in the UK in a unique manner: simultaneously released in theaters, on DVD, and ondemand and download to own…but the plan was to take advantage of publicity to drive maximum value – as the movie is a low budget, black-and-white meditation on horror:

I will followup with this in a moment, but this new way of releasing films across multiple platforms is the “new normal” for film…

A Field In England!

Friend: You think about a thing before you touch it, am I right?

Whitehead: Is that not usual?

Friend: Not in Essex.

Check out the trailer!

Here’s the plot: fleeing for their lives, a small party abandon their Civil War confederates and escape through an overgrown field. Thinking only of what lay behind, they are ambushed by two dangerous men and made to search the field.

Psychedelia, madness and chaotic forces slowly overtake the group as they question what treasure lies within the malignant field.

“A Field In England” just won the special jury prize at the 2013 Karlovy Vary International Film Festival – and is getting rave reviews! Currently, the film has scored an 88% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes!

Congrats to Drafthouse Films for picking up US rights to the film – go to their website for more info:

http://drafthousefilms.com/film/a-field-in-england

I cannot wait to see this movie – we are entering an exciting era of new Directors offering unique stories and personal visions – very 70′s era!

And, as promised, here is a link to the result of the multi-platform release strategy in the UK – this is the future of film, folks, so it’s interesting to see how a film can perform when released on multiple platforms at once!

http://blog.film4.com/a-field-in-england-multiplatform-release-the-results/

And if you think the best new horror is only coming from overseas, then it is time to remind you that a couple of female twins have a movie for you…

The Soska Sisters!

So don’t forget these two: the twin horror Directors The Soska Sisters! Their new film “American Mary” is a twisted horror film as well! Read all about them by clicking here!

http://johnrieber.com/2013/06/07/modern-horror-twin-directors-the-soska-sisters-american-mary-dead-hooker-in-a-trunk/

It’s a whole new era or horror for us to enjoy! Let me know what you think by leaving a comment!

“I’m gonna let ‘em know that Dolemite is back on the scene! I’m gonna let ‘em know that Dolemite is my name, and fuckin’ up motherfuckers is my game!”

And with that, I introduce you to one of Blaxploitation’s most famous characters:

Dolemite!

“Man, move over and let me pass ‘fore they have be to pullin’ these Hush Puppies out your motherfuckin’ ass!”

Rudy Ray Moore created Dolemite in a 1975 blaxploitation film, and also co-wrote the film and its soundtrack.

Moore, who started his career as a stand-up comedian in the late 1960s, heard around that time a rhymed toast by a local homeless man about an urban hero named Dolemite, and decided to adopt the persona of Dolemite as an alter-ego in his act.

“That rat-soup-eatin’, insecure honky motherfucker!”

Dolemite is a pimp who was set up by Willie Greene and the cops, who have planted drugs, stolen furs, and guns in his trunk and got him sentenced to 20 years in jail. One day, Queen B and a warden planned to get him out of Jail and get Willie Green and Mitchell busted for what they did to him.

However, Dolemite is not stupid – oh, and he has a lot of warriors on his team as well, such as his call girls, who are Karate Experts! Let the ass-kicking begin!

“I’m gonna let ‘em know that Dolemite is back on the scene! I’m gonna let ‘em know that Dolemite is my name, and fuckin’ up motherfuckers is my game!”

A sequel, “The Human Tornado”, was released in 1976. A second sequel “The Return of Dolemite” was released in 2002 and was later renamed “The Dolemite Explosion” for DVD release.

A quasi-sequel “Shaolin Dolemite” starring Rudy Ray Moore as Monk Ru-Dee was released in 1999.

AS you can see, Rudy Ray Moore tapped into an explosive idea: a character who wasn’t going to let the man keep him down with a foot in his back…some of the best blaxploitation characters were created out of a sense of rage and injustice….

Click below to read more about the blaxploitation genre – including my writeup of the great blaxploitation film EVER:

http://johnrieber.com/2012/04/25/the-mack-sweet-sweetback-blacula-blaxploitation-lives/

Shaft!

Not all of the blaxploitation movies featured characters who were criminals and pimps: the classic film “Shaft” starred Richard Roundtree as a tough NYC Cop who played by his own rules:

More on John Shaft in a second – but at that point in cinema, the huge success of “Shaft” led to a whole slew of action thrillers starring black leading men – and one of the best is this one – with a most unlikely star:

Hit Man!

The plot is a homage to the classic british thriller “Get Carter.” In “Hit Man”, a lawyer takes the law into his own hands as he goes after the men who killed his brother. During the course of his quest for revenge, he must slither through the grimy, underground pornography scene.

“Hit Man” featured two very distinctive elements of “blaxploitation” movies of the time: a HUGE afro, and a fancy hat!

Check out the trailer:

An Unlikely Action Star!

“Hit Man” stars the NFL pro wide receiver Bernie Casey – who played for the San Francisco 49′ers as well as the LA Rams! That’s right, this “Hit Man” was a pro football player, so I guess he knew all about kicking ass! In fact, Casey had an extensive acting career after he finished playing pro ball…

As I said, “Hit Man” is an Americanized version of the British crime thriller “Get Carter” starring Michael Caine. Casey plays a very tough character here – bending the rules and breaking the law to get answers – and nothing will stop him from finding out what happened to his brother…

“Hit Man” features many of the elements of a great blaxploitation film – and also includes many iconic locations around an early 70′s Los Angeles…

Oh, and one other thing to note: “Hit Man” is also well known for featuring the “very nude” Pam Grier!

Hello Pam!

This was early in Pam Grier’s career – she would, of course, go on to star in many blaxploitation films of her own – and I will have a report on that soon – and of course, Quentin Tarantino made a movie just for her – “Jackie Brown.”

But Pam Grier is showing off a lot of her self in “Hit Man.” She has a couple of extended nude scenes in the film, and then is involved in one of the strangest action sequences EVER – which I won’t give away here, but it is certainly unique!

And now, back to the classic – the greatest blaxploitation film ever:

Shaft!

“Who’s the cat that won’t cop out, when there’s danger all about?”

John Shaft of course! This blaxploitation classic is a hard-charging action thriller about Detective John Shaft, played to perfection by Richard Roundtree.

Bumpy Jonas: Wrong number.
John Shaft: Cut the crap, man, this is Shaft.

“You see this cat Shaft is a bad motherf-”
“Watch Your Mouth!”
“But I’m talking about Shaft!”
“Then we can dig it!”

Check out this movie and also buy the soundtrack on iTunes, it’s a classic as well from Isaac Hayes!

Here is that iconic song, and remember, the entire soundtrack is available from iTunes, and it’s a great album of funk, blues and jazz…

Celebrate This Great Genre Of Film!

“Dolemite”, “Shaft” and “Hit Man” are great examples of a classic genre of exploitation film, and you can read more about the genre at this great website:

http://www.blaxploitationpride.org/

RIP Jim Kelly!

And of course, one of Blaxploitation’s best died recently. Click HERE to read all about the legendary Jim Kelly:

http://johnrieber.com/2013/06/30/rip-jim-kelly-bruce-lees-kung-fu-partner-blaxploitation-master/

“Black Samurai” Indeed!

Trying On The Cape For Size?

The news that Ben Affleck has signed on to play Bruce Wayne in the new “Batman V. Superman” film has set the worldwide web ablaze with anger…but as you can see, he’s already been in one of the outfits, and it fit pretty well…

This is Affleck’s reaction to all of the negativity….Superman is sauced! Well, maybe not, but this picture is one reason why I think the over-reaction has been too harsh – more on that in a second:

There has been a TON of negativity surrounding the announcement that Ben Affleck will join up with Henry Cavill’s “Superman” in the new film that pits the two superheroes against each other.

Here’s the case against Affleck as Batman:

DAREDEVIL.

Yes, it’s not a good movie. That said, much has been posted that this wasn’t the Director’s original vision…

And even though the film is much much hated, if you listen to the internet whisperers, they will claim that there is, in fact, a “real” version of the film that will change your mind. A “lost masterpiece”. The real version of the film that they didn’t get to release. Could it be true? Perhaps, and this could be just what the studio needs to put it back out there for the fan boys to see and re-evaluate.

There is, of course, one more strike against Affleck:

GIGLI.

It is considered one of the worst films ever made. That said, did you see it? Did YOU? NO. NOBODY DID!

“Gigli” might be the most hated movie never viewed. And even if you did watch it – not sure why you ever would, but if it was say, on a dare, then I forgive you.

Either way, it was a failed romantic comedy action caper, that he made with his then-girlfriend. He’s not the first Actor to make this horrible mistake: cue “Shanghai Surprise” with Sean Penn and Madonna….but more importantly, “Gigli” was NOT a superhero movie.

Also, did you know that Ben Affleck will be the only Actor to ever play both Batman AND Superman! And that’s why I think he deserves a chance.

Remember “HOLLYWOODLAND”?

It was Ben’s big comeback: a supporting role in the movie that looked into the death of the original Superman, George Reeves.

He did a great job in the film. He took a smaller role in order to win back fans. He captured the sadness and strength of the original TV Superman – especially the scenes when he realizes he will be typecast forever…no doubt how Affleck himself felt after the debacle of “Gigli.”

Ben’s Amazing Comeback!

After his strong performance as Reeves, Affleck went onto direct “Gone Baby Gone” and “The Town”, two terrific action films set in Boston. And then, there was that other successful film he just directed.

Remember last year’s Oscars? My point is simply this: this is no longer the Ben Affleck of “Gigli” or “Daredevil.” This is a more mature Actor, who has become a terrific Director. I hope his maturity and talent will be used to bring another layer to the franchise….I, for one, was not a big fan of the last Batman OR Superman films.

In other words, to beat a dead horse of a phrase once again, “Argo Fuck Yourself”. Let’s give him a chance. “Man Of Steel” was far too ponderous and pretentious. Maybe Ben will “Afflack it up”…I, for one, cannot wait.

Let me know what you think!

“Clowns Welcome!”

How is it that Bill Murray’s directorial debut is all but forgotten? It’s time to give his “clowns robbing a bank” comedy its just due!

Also, I’ll share one of his best performances – in a film where he doesn’t even get a credit! Let’s start with Bill Murray the clown…

First, let’s see the trailer:

Bill Murray stars with Geena Davis and Randy Quaid in this neglected cult classic. First, here is the plot: a man dressed as a clown enters a bank and tries to rob it.

Bank Guard: What the Hell kind of clown are you?

Grimm: The crying on the inside kind, I guess.

All they have to do now is make it out of the city and to the airport. And in a hilarious mini-version of “Planes, Trains & Automobiles”, NOTHING goes right!

Things keep going wrong as they attempt to make their getaway….like when they board a city bus.
[getting on a bus]

Phyllis: What’s that smell?
Grimm: Used wine.

Randy Quaid keeps falling apart, and it’s only Geena Davis and her quick wit that keeps them going – like when they finally see the airport…

Loomis: Is that our plane?
Phyllis: No, if it were our plane, it would be crashing.

When original director Jonathan Demme became unavailable, writer Howard Franklin and producer Bill Murray couldn’t agree on who would be a good director for the project. So they decided to do the job themselves.

Among the great moments are lines like this:

[Johnny holds a gun to Grimm's back]

Johnny: This ain’t my dick in your back!
Grimm: That’s a relief.

And of course, the movie opens with a classic line as well…

“Clowns Welcome!”

The great moments begin at the very beginning of the film, with Murray sauntering down the street – dressed as a clown – and spied by a street barker yelling outside a strip club across the street…

Street Barker: “Nude women! Nude women!”

Bill Murray saunters by in the clown outfit…

Street Barker: “Clowns Welcome! Clowns welcome!”

Clowns Welcome, Indeed!

Check out this neglected classic!

More Neglected Murray!

And here’s a classic Bill Murray performance – that he isn’t even credited for! Look closely at this movie poster….

Tootsie

“Tootsie” is the classic comedy about an unemployed actor with a reputation for being difficult who disguises himself as a woman to get a role in a soap opera.

From that simple description comes one of the best movies ever made – a brilliant comedy that looks at social issues, female empowerment, and of course, how tough it is to get a job as an Actor.

And Bill Murray has a substantial role – but you wouldn’t know it from the poster!

Dustin Hoffman is Michael Dorsey, and intense Actor who pretends to be a woman to get a job on a daytime soap. From there it spirals out of control in all the best ways, and Dustin Hoffman turns in another brilliant performance as an Actor who just wants to ACT. He shares an apartment with Jeff, a playwright with some unique views on theater…

An Uncredited Bill Murray!

Jeff the Writer is played beautifully by Bill Murray, who didn’t take a credit in the film because he didn’t want people to think it was just another of his populist comedies of the time – so imagine that, he DIDN’T TAKE A CREDIT IN ORDER TO KEEP THE FOCUS ON THE MOVIE!

CLASS ACT!

Here’s Bill Murray ad-libbing one night at a party, discussing why he writes plays:

Jeff: “I don’t like it when people come up to me after my plays and say, “I really dug your message, man.” Or, “I really dug your play, man, I cried.” You know. I like it when people come up to me the next day, or a week later, and they say, “I saw your play. What happened?”

“THAT IS ONE NUTTY HOSPITAL!”

Murray has one of the last lines int he movie, and it’s a classic…”Toosie” is one of the greatest comedies ever made, and Bill Murray’s hilariously deadpan performance is one reason…so try out this double bill!

I am a sucker for stuff like this: first of all, welcome to vintage London, England…

Thanks to the great website “Laughingsquid.com”, I was made aware of a classic series of films created by the BBC, beginning in 1953 – filming the entire train ride from London to Brighton…

London to Brighton Train Journey: 1953 – 2013

What’s really amazing is that they also filmed it in 1983 as well…

And guess what? They filmed it again in 2013 – and have edited them together so you can watch them, sped up into a 4 minute film – SIDE BY SIDE!

Here is this amazing video:

Makes me want to take a mid-winter walk in the snow past Big Ben!

Let me know what you think!

J.J. Abrams Has Grabbed TV Rights To Westworld!

This news just in, as reported by Deadline.com: HBO has nabbed “Westworld”, a new drama series inspired by Michael Crichton’s 1973 sci-fi movie. The project, from J.J. Abrams‘ Bad Robot, Person Of Interest creator Jonathan Nolan, producer Jerry Weintraub and Warner Bros TV, has received a pilot production commitment.

J.J. Is Taking Over Sci-Fi!

After reviving the “Star Trek” franchise – and with more “Star Wars” movies on the way, Abrams’ is certainly taking over science fiction…

The new TV project “Westworld” is described as a dark odyssey about the dawn of artificial consciousness and the future of sin. I can completely understand how they can make this work, especially when you see how the classic 70′s movie offered an “anything goes” vacation – or, as the tagline for the movie said:

Have We Got A Vacation For You!

If you are unfamiliar with the movie, here is a look at this iconic 70′s sci-fi classic – with a great poster!

Westworld. Where nothing can possibly go worng…

This 70′s classic has a simple premise. As the opening voiceover proclaims: “Delos is the vacation of the future, today. At Delos, you get your choice of the vacation you want. There’s Medieval World, Roman World and, of course, Westworld.”

Here is the movie’s trailer:

Richard Benjamin and James Brolin star as two friends out for a fun weekend – a weekend where they can dress up and play cowboy….

Yul Brynner is the Robot designed and operated by the resort – challenging them to gun battles – which of course, the guys always win…

It’s all male fantasty – taking part in shootouts and killing bad guys, but things go very, very wrong…as the movie’s movie poster brilliantly said:

Where Nothing Can Possibly Go W-O-R-N-G…

John Blane: [after Being Bitten By A Robotic Snake] “The hell, god dammit, that’s not supposed to happen!”

And with that, the two friends find themselves being hunted down by the robot – let the games begin!

Best-selling Author Michael Crichton became inspired to write this film after a trip to Disneyland, where he saw the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, and was impressed by the animatronic characters.

Crichton also directed the film, which was a huge box office success, and spawned a sequel called “Futureworld.”

And how about this trivia, courtesy of IMDB:

“Westworld” used the first computer digitized images as part of a feature film!

Something tells me the effects in the new TV series will be far, far above anything seen in the 70′s! Congrats to JJ and the entire creative team – can’t wait to see this!

“Forget it, Jake, it’s Chinatown.”

But I can’t forget this shocking news: according to Radaronline, Jack Nicholson has decided to retire from movies!

This news has stunned social media – the reports says the Actor, who hasn’t made a film since 2010, will retire because it’s become too difficult to memorize lines…

We’ll have to wait and see if the actor confirms this news, but if it’s true, it is a huge loss for film lovers….

Maria Shriver Says It’s NOT TRUE!

More on this breaking entertainment news story!

Here’s what E! Online had to say: “Rumors that the three-time Oscar winner was hanging up his acting hat started running rampant on Wednesday, Sept. 4, after a report surfaced claiming the 76-year-old Hollywood legend was doing just that. The apparent reason? Memory loss.

“However, it appears such speculation may have simply originated from the cuckoo’s nest.

“NBC’s Maria Shriver has confirmed to E! News that reports of Nicholson retiring from acting due to memory loss or dementia are 100 percent false, adding that the Chinatown star is not suffering from any memory-related illness or dementia and has no current plans to retire.”

Nicholson has an astonishing 12 Academy Award nominations, including three wins — in 1976 for “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” in 1984 for “Terms of Endearment” and in 1998 for “As Good as It Gets.” He also has 16 nominations for competitive Golden Globe Awards, winning six of those to go with his Golden Globes Cecil B. DeMille Award for outstanding contribution to entertainment, received in 1999.

The E! story adds: “In fact, a source close to the movie icon says Nicholson is actively reading scripts and is looking forward to his next project.”

Well, we’ll see how this shakes out!

Mr. Oscar!

Nicholson holds the record for the most Oscar nominations – 12! – and he has created some of the most memorable characters of all time…

In honor of this great Actor, I am going to look at some of his most revered work, and also some smaller films that haven’t gotten as much attention. I will begin with two of his greatest performances ever – one that is low key, full of nuance – and one that is Jack at his most outrageous!

“Forget it, Jake, it’s Chinatown.”

Let’s start with one of the great films ever made – and one of his most restrained performances ever…

Chinatown

Here is the classic trailer for a classic film…

Simply put, “Chinatown” is one of the greatest films of all time. Directed by Roman Polanski, starring Jack Nicholson as LA Private Detective Jake Gittes, Faye Dunaway as Evelyn Mulwray, and legendary Director John Huston as LA Businessman Noah Cross…

Noah Cross: “You’ve got a nasty reputation, Mr. Gittes. I like that.”

‘Jake’ Gittes is a private detective who seems to specialize in matrimonial cases. He is hired by Evelyn Mulwray when she suspects her husband Hollis, builder of the city’s water supply system, of having an affair.

You don’t need to know anything else – the plot is a history of LA’s water system, a meditation on evil, and a masterclass in film making…

Noah Cross: “Either you bring the water to L.A. or you bring L.A. to the water.”

[Lunch is served; it's fish]
Noah Cross: “I hope you don’t mind. I believe they should be served with the head.”
Jake Gittes: “Fine… long as you don’t serve the chicken that way.”

Jack Nicholson nails these lines with a droll sense of awareness – and disdain – for the people he’s in business with…it’s a Nicholson performance for the ages…

One classic moment in the film occurs when Jack Nicholson gets too curious one night by a reservoir – looking for the source of LA’s water…

Man with Knife: “You’re a very nosy fellow, kitty cat. Huh? You know what happens to nosy fellows? Huh? No? Wanna guess? Huh? No? Okay. They lose their noses.”

Director Polanski plays the tough guy with the knife, and Nicholson had a nose bandage for the rest of the movie…the scene where Roman Polanski slits Jack Nicholson’s nose was extremely complex to film…

Ultimately, Polanksi and Nicholson got so tired of explaining how it was done (by using a specially-constructed knife with a short hinge that would be safe as long as it was handled VERY carefully) that they began to claim Nicholson’s nose was actually cut.

Loach: “What happened to your nose, Gittes? Somebody slammed a bedroom window on it?”
Jake Gittes: “Nope. Your wife got excited. She crossed her legs a little too quick. You understand what I mean, pal?”

Some of the best dialogue and most dramatic moment occurs near the end of the movie, when Jack and Faye Dunaway really get into it:

Evelyn Mulwray: She’s my daughter.
[Gittes slaps Evelyn]
Jake Gittes: I said I want the truth!
Evelyn Mulwray: She’s my sister…
[slap]
Evelyn Mulwray: She’s my daughter…
[slap]
Evelyn Mulwray: My sister, my daughter.
[More slaps]
Jake Gittes: I said I want the truth!
Evelyn Mulwray: She’s my sister AND my daughter!

This movie is perfect: the writing, directing, and acting are all flawless…and it ends with one of the most iconic movie lines of all time:

“Forget it, Jake, it’s Chinatown.”

“Here’s JOHNNY!”

On the other end of the acting spectrum is one of Nicholson’s wildest efforts – for the legendary Director Stanley Kubrick – I am referring, of course, to one of the best horror films ever made:

“The Shining”!

“Some places are like people: some shine and some don’t.”

Legendary Director Stanley Kubrick had already blown our minds with “Dr. Strangelove”, “Lolita” and “2001: A Space Odyssey”, chilled us to core with the futuristic horror of “A Clockwork Orange”, and dazzled us with the lyrical beauty of “Barry Lyndon”…now he wanted us to spend a little time with his friend Jack Nicholson…

Based on a Stephen King novel, the plot is simple: A man, his son and wife become the winter caretakers of an isolated hotel. Six months of quiet desolation, a place for Danny to explore…

Unfortunately, Danny sees disturbing visions of the hotel’s past using a telepathic gift known as “The Shining”. Example? How about the twins he sees in the hallway…

And then of course, Danny sees more…

And there is no one for Danny to share this with…as the horrific images continue…

Jack Nicholson plays the father with an intense glee, from the beginning of the film seemingly on the edge of madness!

Jack’s having a tough time on a writing project when he slowly slips into insanity as a result of cabin fever and former guests of the hotel’s ghosts. After being convinced by a waiter’s ghost to “correct” the family, Jack goes completely insane.

To announce this film, Warner Brothers released a teaser trailer that had just this one shot:

Stanley Kubrick, known for his compulsiveness and numerous retakes, got the shot of blood pouring from the elevators in only three takes. This would be remarkable if it weren’t for the fact that the shot took nine days to set up; every time the doors opened and the blood poured out, Kubrick would say, “It doesn’t look like blood.”

Shelley Duvall stars as Jack’s wife, who wants nothing more than to protect their child from evil…

Wendy Torrance: [crying] Stay away from me.
Jack Torrance: Why?
Wendy Torrance: I just wanna go back to my room!
Jack Torrance: Why?
Wendy Torrance: Well, I’m very confused, and I just need time to think things over!
Jack Torrance: You’ve had your whole FUCKING LIFE to think things over, what good’s a few minutes more gonna do you now?
Wendy Torrance: Please! Don’t hurt me!
Jack Torrance: I’m not gonna hurt you.
Wendy Torrance: Stay away from me!
Jack Torrance: Wendy? Darling? Light, of my life. I’m not gonna hurt ya. You didn’t let me finish my sentence. I said, I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m just going to bash your brains in.
[Wendy gasps]

Jack Torrance: Gonna bash ‘em right the fuck in! ha ha ha
Wendy Torrance: Stay away from me! Don’t hurt me!
Jack Torrance: [sarcastically] I’m not gonna hurt ya…
Wendy Torrance: Stay away! Stop it!
Jack Torrance: Stop swingin’ the bat. Put the bat down, Wendy. Wendy? Give me the bat…

Stanley Kubrick was a perfectionist, and according to IMDB, there is a great deal of confusion regarding the number of retakes of certain scenes. According to the Guinness Book of Records, the scene where Wendy is backing up the stairs swinging the baseball bat was shot 127 times, which is a record for the most takes of a single scene. However, both Steadicam operator Garrett Brown and assistant editor Gordon Stainforth say this is inaccurate – the scene was shot about 35-45 times. Brown does say however that the scene where Hallorann explains to Danny what shining is was shot 148 times, which is a world record.

Of course, when Jack finally snaps, he grabs a handy and ax and heads for the bathroom….

This scene culminates in the classic movie line “Here’s Johnny!”

“Here’s Johnny!” was voted 36th best line of all time by Premiere in 2007.

The Greatest Actor Of All Time!

I’m sure some would argue that, but try this classic peformance:

One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest – Best Actor

Or any of these:

Carnal Knowledge
Prizzi’s Honor
The Departed
The Last Detail
Terms Of Endearment

Just to name a few of his classic performances: as I said, more to come – and Jack, you will be missed but never forgotten…

My Jack Nicholson Moment!

I got to work with a lot of celebs, but never had the chance to interview Jack…this is the closest I got…here is a picture I captured once – he passed me at the Cannes film festival, on his way to a press conference…I instinctively took a picture and got just a twinkle in the eye…

God bless Jack – let me know your favorite Jack Nicholson role!

Get Ready For Some Fighting Words!

I love movies. All kinds of movies. I love great ones like “The Godfather”, and I love “Psyched By The 4D Witch” as well – which, if you haven’t seen, proves that at one point in movie history,ANYTHING could be released in a movie theater (more on “4D Witch” in a moment)!

Because I love movies so much, I feel confident when I tell you this:

“Christopher Nolan is the most over-rated Director working in America!”

That sentence should spark one of three things:

1 – a complete lack of knowledge about who Christopher Nolan is. He’s NOT the backup QB for the Colts, for example, or one of Hong Kong’s most well known land developers.

2 – an unstoppable urge to send me a note explaining, with an impressive mix of logic and vitriol, that “you are wrong, Dr. Brewster!”. (extra credit if you immediately noted that snippet of dialogue from the brilliant film “Tootsie.”)

3 – you smile inside, happy that SOMEONE has finally stated what you always thought but were afraid to say: “The Dark Knight Rises” was dour and “un-fun” in every way – and NOBODY could understand what Bane was saying!

And as for “Inception”…while the special effects were beautifully done – the basic idea of the film, about the dangerous art of “extraction”, stealing valuable secrets from deep within the subconscious during the dream state, when the mind is at its most vulnerable…wasn’t “Inception”, it was INCOMPREHENSIBLE.

Time For A Film Fight Club!

And that is the reason for “FILM FIGHT CLUB.”

A few years ago, my wife Alex and I started a film fight club – a group of us would all be assigned a movie to see, and on Sunday, we’d take over Trilussa restaurant in Beverly Hills for pizza, lots of red wine, and a hearty argument about the merits of the movie. Interestingly, the first film was “Batman Begins.” Talk about your “circle of life!”

http://filmfightclub.com Is Alive!

I want to do the same thing now online – to find a group of passionate film lovers to meet on the “braciole of the web” – it’s the internet as italian restaurant, an electronic Trilussa where people can post interesting, articulate, and perhaps ultimately demeaning comments about movies, and the people who defend them…an open forum for thoughts, opinions and fun…

For example, I think “2001: A Space Odyssey” is a brilliant movie, from a Director who NEVER made a bad film:

Then again, here is how Alex described “2001: A Space Odyssey”:

“Some dumb Astronaut feeding some dumb baby.”

Now THOSE are film fight club words!

We all know that are certain films we love – and hate – regardless of how good they are. Alex doesn’t like science fiction that much – and to be honest – there is MUCH to argue about regarding “2001″.

So Share Your Passion And Opinions!

My goal is to post a story about a movie, or an actor, or a film genre – and ask a couple of questions – hopefully, it will spark some feedback, a new point of view, or perhaps just a series of agreements from all concerned – like when I say that the new “Star Trek” films lack the humanity of the original TV series…

And yes, it appears that Capt. Kirk is about to BOWL…

Film Fight Club Is Easy!

It’s easy to share your opinion about “2001″ – or “Star Trek” – or a multitude of other movies – and read what other people think as well. If you are interested in being part of the discussion, you can sign up to receive all posts from “Film Fight Club”, or you can just continue to see my posts at Johnrieber.com, as all discussions will be available on both…but if you want to sign up, here is the link:

http://filmfightclub.com/

The first post ever on the site is my review of Woody Allen’s “Blue Jasmine” – and what I think has been his degrading portrayal of women in far too many films over the past two decades…please let me know if you agree or disagree…

This is the link to the story:

http://filmfightclub.com/2013/09/06/welcome-to-the-film-fight-club-woody-allens-female-problem/

Back To The Origin Of Man…

Now, about “2001″…is it the story of the origin of man – which happens to be a floating embryo that hovers just beyond the moon? And do you know that there are people who believe that Stanley Kubrick shot the moon footage that was used when the US “faked” the moon landing?

Did you even know there are people who think we faked the moon landing?

A Polarizing Premiere…

The story of “2001: A Space Odyssey” is fascinating for many reasons – did you know at the original premiere screening of the film, 241 people walked out of the theater, including Rock Hudson who said “Will someone tell me what the hell this is about?”

Arthur C. Clarke once said, “If you understand ’2001′ completely, we failed. We wanted to raise far more questions than we answered.” Mission accomplished!

Say Hello Hal!

Did you know that HAL 9000 never once says, “Good Morning, Dave,” despite this line being one of his most recognized quotations?

So my only question for you is this: is “2001: A Space Odyssey” the greatest science fiction film ever made? Or is it as incomprehensible as “Inception?”? Leave a comment and let me know!

And What About “Psyched By The 4D Witch?”

Earlier I mentioned this classic film. Well, it’s not so much a “classic movie” as it is a series of b-roll shots with a poorly written narration laid over it…and shots of this actress…

This movie was actually released in movie theaters…with NO synched sound at all, the worst voiceover narration ever recorded, and random footage strung together to fill time…in fact, it was described by Something Weird Video (who has released it on DVD) as:

“the most maddening, jaw-dropping, mind-bending piece of celluloid lunacy ever to play American theaters!”

It is such a masterwork that it made my list of the “ten most misguided movies ever made!” Click on the link to see why!

http://johnrieber.com/2012/02/08/ten-most-misguided-movies-of-all-time/

Read all about it and imagine the pathetic rube who paid to see it in a movie theater – oh wait, that was ME!